When celestial bodies move, political statements move faster.
PROLOGUE
The final stretch of 2025 begins with Mercury questioning its own career choices, Saturn demanding accountability, and Jupiter promising expansion — mostly of press conferences.
Leaders will look to the skies for guidance and to teleprompters for survival. A week of shifting narratives, selective memory, and emotional math awaits. The stars aren’t responsible. But they won’t deny involvement.
WEEKLY POLITICAL FORECAST
(22–28 December 2025)
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Aries believes urgency equals intelligence. Expect impulsive announcements followed by gentle clarifications. The legal department will see more screen time than the spokesperson.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Taurus resists change while drafting confidential transition plans. Foreign trips appear essential and urgent. Accountability calendar mysteriously blank.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Gemini delivers three contradictory statements—before breakfast. Internal party WhatsApp groups experience record forwarding rates. Sources will “decline to confirm” everything.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Cancer presents emotional appeals, complete with strategic pauses. Old allies applaud politely while messaging new alliances discreetly. A tear glistens. Cameras zoom.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Leo strides onstage moments before the outro music. Spotlight turns cooperative for five seconds. Leadership aspirations grow louder, like a mic left unmuted during a heated call.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Virgo schedules briefings, sub-briefings, and micro-briefings. Facts are flawless; the audience scrolls past. Virgo contemplates quitting politics for policy, then remembers meetings exist there too.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Libra drafts a balanced statement pleasing nobody. Neutrality invites speculation. Silence invites conspiracy. Expect leaks timed with cosmic precision.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Scorpio releases no statement—terrifying opponents. Rumours circulate. Supporters whisper strategy. Scorpio prepares plots more intricate than budget reports.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Sagittarius philosophises, gestures widely, misquotes ancient texts, and announces a committee. Journalists yawn. Intellectuals applaud. The public waits for broadband upgrades.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Capricorn enforces deadlines nobody asked for. Files move. Careers tremble. Allies admire efficiency from a safe emotional distance.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Aquarius tweets without context. Screenshots go viral with context added by others. Damage control team cancels leave.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Pisces apologises for misunderstandings that haven’t happened yet. Empathy flows. Policy does not. Advisors suggest bullet points; Pisces suggests poetry.
EPILOGUE
As 2025 prepares its exit interview, politicians will blame the stars, the media, the opposition, and occasionally punctuation.
The week ends not with resolutions, but with reminders:
Astrology can’t predict politics.
Politics ignores astrology.
But together they deliver entertainment — free, frequent, and non-refundable.
Should you require an updated version next week, the planets have confirmed availability.
[ This content is written with the help of AI. The image is also AI-created]
